Wednesday, August 26, 2009

saying goodbyes...


This morning we said goodbyes to Daniel and Christine, and their children Elizabeth and Emmanuel. They came to Pittsburgh the same time as us, and for the last 2 years we worshipped at the same church. Over time, the friendship between Charis and Elizabeth grew (even though they are 2 years apart), and they would play with each other after worship or during gatherings. Holding hands, running around, having fun....

In the evening as I was preparing dinner, Charis started to cry for no obvious reason. Usually we would stop her and get her to calm down. But this time we let her be. We tried to get her to tell us why she was crying, but she just kept to her crying. Finally we asked her was it because her friends left today - and she cried even louder... Saying goodbyes to friends is sometime so emotional, even for a 4 year old.

Eventually, after almost an hour of grieving, she managed to calm down a little for dinner. We talked to her about her feelings, the separation with her friends etc, as she sobbed and tried very hard to keep herself from crying again.

"How about this: God willing, at the end of the year, we go back to Singapore for a visit? Maybe for a few weeks?" I offered.

"No, I don't want to go back for a visit. (sob) I want to go back after you finish your work," she replied.

"But why don't you want to go back for a visit?"

"Because I don't want to say goodbyes again.... (sob)...." as a teardrop rolled off her cheek. Our hearts melted.

After a few spoonfuls of porridge, she asked "Daddy, why does your work take soooo looong?"

I offered an explanation: "Hmmm... because Daddy is stupid...."

"Hahahaha... that's soooo silly.... Nobody says they are stupid. That's being rude to themselves."

Hmmm... food for thoughts....

"Then why do you think Daddy is taking so long to do his work?"

After a few seconds of thought, she proudly replied "Because you are working on breathtaking, earth-shattering research!"


No, actually that's not what she said (although it would have been very nice if she had said that). What she really and proudly said was:

"Because you don't work hard."

See, there's no way you can deceive a 4 year old. From tomorrow, I will add 2 more hours to my current 14 hours workday. Or maybe 3.

10 comments:

linli said...

wow what an emotional day for her.. although her last comment is very funny..

eleanor said...

ahaha.. so funny! :) We are all eagerly awaiting your year-end visit, nevermind that we'll have to say goodbyes again. :)Tell Charis she will have many many friends to play with when she's back!

shawn said...

Oh man! This post has made me cry. She is such a special girl.

amelia thinks said...

Yeah Mr Koh...work harder and faster! WE are all waiting!

dreamer said...

Ahhh, Shawn..... I'm glad my touchy-emotional piece worked its magic on you. I was just thinking that is about to become a comedy...

Amelia - not say I don't want.... but breathtaking, earth-shattering research takes time.

dreamer said...

linli - funny is ok.... only fear if it is true.

eleanor - by the time the kids warm up to one another, it is time to say goodbyes. Then we have to go thru this once more....

Anyway today Charis is feeling better. She told me that she is still sad but not crying. Anyway, I think she doesn't really want to leave Pittsburgh... she told us yesterday, "Poor Elizabeth and Emmanuel... now they cannot eat Pittsburgh food...."

Unknown said...

Thanks for so thick-skinnedly putting your blog as our home page... Or it might be quite some months before we read it! Poor Charis, life is too full of goodbyes. Wish we could come back to meet you guys too, but the latest news says we can't! But we really miss her a lot!

Anonymous said...

hello slackish earth shaterring researcher, please add oil to your mind blowing ground breaking thesis.. the world's waiting for you too.

- michelle neo

Anonymous said...

Your girl is indeed a sweet little one..So young and yet so sensitive...what she said almost brought tears to my eyes too..So sweet...Yes, God willing, we'd love to see you guys back for a visit:) meanwhile, Daddy Koh, better double up and work hard!

Theresa Pang

linli said...

oh no.. she needs to go back to singapore quick to revive her tastebuds. must be elaine's cooking is so good i.e. pittsburgh food.